While I Can Fight
by Fire The Canon
Summary: Remus comes to visit Sirius in his cell in Azkaban, and after many conversations, he learns that the man he had once trusted above all, is indeed, innocent. /AU. For Amber.


_**Dedicated to the lovely Amber, who won a competition of mine, and who is just an amazing person**_

_**Written for Danie's Song Inspiration Challenge (Love the Way You Lie, Rihanna & Eminem)**_

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**While I Can Fight**

_I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight_

_Love the Way You Lie (Eminem & Rihanna)_

A letter arrived.

He had never been given a letter before; not once in the three years he had been sitting in this grubby cell with Dementors breathing down his neck constantly.

The Minister had come to see him once, but only to inform him that he wished him a slow and painful death. His family – if any were still alive – would never see their treacherous son.

His two best friends were dead because he had trusted the wrong person.

No one should have been writing to him. But there it was, as clear as day, a neatly folded piece of parchment with his name on the outside.

The Minister himself had delivered it personally.

_To Sirius,_

_I know it must be strange hearing from me, given the circumstances, but I must see you. I have organised with Minister Fudge to be escorted to the prison. I know you probably would not wish to see me, and frankly, I do not wish to see you, but it is a necessity. _

_I'll arrive in two days' time._

_Remus Lupin_

"No," he said out loud, staring at the letter. "No." This was the man who thought him a murderer, a man he had doubted. Of all the people coming to visit him, this was the last one he wanted to see. "No."

Life had always been unfair.

Remus came two days later, like he had said. He appeared paler than Sirius remembered him; weaker. His clothes were ragged and torn, and he wondered if his old friend had been on the run.

Then he remembered that he had been sitting in the same cell for three years, and Remus probably looked like a prince compared to him.

"Sirius." There was no denying the look of contempt in the man's eyes. He still believed Sirius a murderer.

"Remus."

For a long while the two men simply stared at each other, not uttering a word. Remus' mouth moved on occasion, as if he wanted to speak, but no words formed. Minister Fudge was standing protectively close to him, a silver light protecting them from the Dementors that sensed the fear.

Sirius had no such luxury.

"It's been a while," Sirius eventually said. "Remus."

Remus only stared, and Sirius could read the expression as easily as words on a page.

Pain. Hurt. Contempt.

"You needed to see me?"

"I just needed to be sure," he said.

"Sure of what?" Though, Sirius thought he already knew the answer.

"Sure that the man who betrayed his friends is locked away safely, and will never see freedom again."

There was no point in denying it. Didn't all those who were guilty deny their actions?

"Farewell, Sirius." And he left with the Minister on his tail. All he had needed was closure, and he had been given it.

Sirius was once again alone with the Dementors. Was it sad to say that they were his only friends in this place?

…

Another two years and he returned again, this time looking more ragged and sickly than before. There had been no letter this time, just his presence with the glowing silver orb of a Patronus to protect him.

"Still here," Sirius mumbled. "I'm still here."

Remus only nodded, satisfied, and without a word, he left.

He returned the next day, then the day after that, and the next week. He was there every day, and it was obvious that being so close to the Dementors was taking its toll. There was a small part of Sirius that wanted to tell Remus to not come back, but the much larger, much more selfish part of him enjoyed the company.

"You look ill, Remus," he said after two weeks of visits.

Remus ignored him, but he'd brought a chair with him, and he sat opposite the cell.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked simply.

"Because the Dark Lord is stronger and more powerful than all of us," Sirius answered drily. "Is that what you want to hear?"

Once again there was silence.

"We all trusted you; we all thought we knew you." There was pain in his voice.

"Thought, yes," Sirius agreed. "How well do you really know me?"

"The Sirius I knew would never betray his friends like that," Remus whispered. "Never."

"This Sirius wouldn't either."

Remus only looked at him.

"Who was it that I made Secret Keeper, Remus?" Sirius continued. "Who was it that I foolishly thought we could all trust, who wouldn't breathe a word? I did betray them, Remus, but not in the way that you think."

"Peter." His voice was barely audible, and his expression thoughtful. "It was Peter."

Sirius nodded.

"And you killed him."

A raw laugh echoed along the wet walls, and Sirius grinned. "No," he said. "I wanted to, but he escaped."

"But –"

"Chopped off his own finger," Sirius answered before Remus had the chance. "Blew up those Muggles, and escaped. He's so small, people only mistook him for what he really is – a rodent."

Even in the shadows Sirius saw Remus swallow.

"I deserve to be here. I should have given it to you, Remus, but –"

"You knew someone was double-crossing us." He nodded, understanding.

"I'm sorry."

"Sometimes I have trouble trusting myself."

That was enough for Sirius to know that he was forgiven – that Remus no longer blamed him.

That was all he needed.

"I'll come back tomorrow, Sirius."

Every day he would promise to come again, but the next day was different. The next day he came back knowing that the man he thought had killed his friends was in fact innocent. The next day he brought food, hidden beneath his robes.

"I'm sure the food here is unpleasant," he said with a grin.

Unpleasant was an understatement, and Sirius told Remus as such. He laughed.

After a month of Remus coming to visit him, it only occurred to Sirius that something wasn't right. "You're here every day," he observed. "What about your life? Your job?"

Remus merely laughed – a humourless laugh. "Even with Voldemort gone there is still no place in the world for someone like me." Hisses echoed around the cells as Death Eaters heard their master's name being spoken. Sirius and Remus ignored them.

"I wish I could help." He did, he really did. He had always wanted the best for Remus.

Always.

"You can help by keeping alive," Remus said. "Stay in here, stay alive, and one day you will be free."

Sirius doubted that very much, but he didn't dare speak it. The knowledge that he was innocent had cheered Remus greatly over the past weeks, and he wanted to keep it that way. The smile warmed him. Seeing something so bright in a place like this gave him hope.

"Give me your hand, Sirius."

"What?"

"Give me your hand." Remus stepped up so his body was pressed against the bars of his cell. With just a moment's hesitation, he moved his right arm – more scarred than Sirius remembered it – through the bars. "Please."

It was the first physical contact Sirius had had in a long time. It felt strange to be touching someone who was human, someone who hadn't seen the inside of an Azkaban cell. The touch sent shivers through him, jolts of power, of joy, of happiness.

Everything good that the Dementors had sucked out of him.

"There's still hope for you, Sirius," Remus said quietly. "I know there is."

Sirius had never believed it before – never dared to have such thoughts – but holding Remus' hands through the cell, Dementors held back by a Patronus, he felt it. The cool, joyous, _happy,_ feeling of hope.

Remus looked at him, and he smiled.

"Keep fighting, Sirius," he said. "It's the best you can do."

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_**I really only took inspiration from that one line of the song, not the whole one. Amber, I know this didn't turn out all that slashy (although that was my attempt) but I hope you enjoy this friendship fic anyway!**_

_**Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated!**_


End file.
